Closing down

I'm using my website for blogging from now on...... if you arrive here, please use the link below to redirect:

http://www.pandora172.webs.com/


Hope to see you there!

Synchronicity

It amazes me how life gives us what we need even when we don't know we need it. Today this web site plopped into my in-box http://www.sportrelief.com/the-mile/havant-borough-mile telling me we have a local race of just ONE MILE in March. This is exactly what I need to get some experience and motivation to actually keep my resolution to run the Race for Life in the summer.

Resolution

Once it's written there's no going back.... so here goes. This year I shall RUN the Race for Life...

Looking back

Some of my favourite experiences:

· Massage:
Petchkasem Road, Hua Hin, Thailand, next to Golden Place, massage by professional blind masseurs that ties you in knots with a 'little pain' and leaves you feeling marvellous

· Foot bath:
Kang Li Lai Feet Massage, Diecui Road, Yangshuo, China – on the main road to Li Jiang – wooden tubs full of warm jelly and a pedicure done with very sharp chisels, strange but blissful

· Perfume:
Sorrento Profumi, Via San Cesareo, 57 - 80067 Sorrento (Na) ITALY – fabulous for lemon and seaweed oils

· Almond Oil:
Organic first press from Corfu, available from roadside stalls across the island – great for skin and nails

· Afternoon tea:
Dusit Inya Lake Hotel, Yangon, Myanmar – feel like royalty as you sit by the lovely lake to enjoy tiny sandwiches, fabulous cakes and sorbets in the sunshine

· Shopping
Stanley Market, Hong King – for textiles, electrical goods, souvenirs and all cheapie desireables

· Jewellery:
Gem Museum, Yangong, Myanmar – jade, rubies, diamonds, gold, silver.... like Aladdin’s cave

· Exhibition
Anish Kapoor, British Academy, London – a total sensory experience

· Website
http://www.behance.net/?page=1&category=projects&browse=featured&time=all - for inspirational designs

Edward Monkton's Pig of Happiness is all about sharing happiness to make the world a bit happier. So watch the film, have a laugh and send it to your friends to make them happier as well.

The Pig of Happiness

Trip to the past

On a wet, windy Sunday, what could be better than to visit a museum. Milestones near Basingstoke is a network of streets with shops, a village green and a pub, dating from Victorian times up to the 1930s, recreated inside a massive modern building.

20,000 objects that ordinary people used in the past are on display - tin baths, Spong bean slicers, mangles, toasting forks, wooden split pegs, hat pins, liver pills... the variety is astonishing, yet each thing has been carefully placed to tell its own story.

Memories came flooding back to me of my grandmother's scullery.... my mother's kitchen... and then my own first home. This was less welcome! I found it hard to believe that things I had once used were in a MUSEUM! Made me wonder if I shouldn't have been exhibit 20,001....



It did make me appreciate how the technology of that time moulded our characters, how hard physically we had to work in the home with no washing machines, fridges, vacuum cleaners, convenience foods, supermarkets, transport.... it was very character building but I'm grateful for the modern appliances that give me freedom from domestic servitude, allowing me to live a fulfilling and much more comfortable life-style.

In need of sleep

I am TIRED..... I'm getting past working 12 hour days. Retirement wasn't meant to be like this, it was lying on a beach in the sun, travelling, being creative.... I wonder though, how long that would have kept me happy. I do love the steep learning curves, the pressure to get things done, the buzz of the lecture room, the interaction with students..... the answer lies, as with so many other things, in having a balance.

I wonder if my polarities are caused by being born on the cusp, the reason I'm sure why I feel more than slightly shizophrenic at times. When your life bounces between extremes, it's very hard to live the middle path.

Lest we forget

A simple remembrance observation is held every year at Fort Nelson. A shell is fired to mark the beginning and end of two minutes of silence, and a poem about the war is read by a volunteer dressed in a uniform of the First World War.





This little ceremony is heart-wrenchingly poignant, especially as the number of our service personnel dying and suffering horrific injuries in Afghanistan is soaring.


How sad that mankind has made such great progress in so many areas over the last century, but in spite of awareness of the horrors of war, has somehow not yet been able to embrace peace.

Half term

Restful week? Not quite.... went to help Son#1 to sort out his Palace to rent while he's away. Mixing concrete, fencing, laying paving slabs, shovelling rubble, clearing brambles.... not quite a relaxing few days! But it was great fun, we worked from when we got up until it was too dark to see what we were doing, then made for the local Chinese/Indian/pub for dinner before falling exhausted into bed.

It was better than a daily session in the gym and I'm still glowing from all the fun we shared. Everyone had a great sense of satisfaction from putting the house and garden to rights, but my biggest happiness came from knowing that I was still 'useful' and able to help.

Bad Hair Day

Says it all....

Journalling

Have you ever met up with a friend after a long time? In the first rush of conversation, you can encapsulate years in just a couple of sentences - and then be left with little to say.

Bit like blogging... not having written for a while, I could say, work is busy, I've started the sword form in tai chi, and then be stuck for words. But writing my Soul Journal every night, I can cover pages with my thoughts and even small events assume their own importance.

The Equinox Timing

The equinox moon is in Scorpio... 'mysteries of passionate aliveness through the willingness to live on the edges... and beyond....'

What a great Timing to link with my photo on 365. When I submitted it all those months ago I had no idea that this synchronicity would occur.

Isn't life wonderful.

Please visit my website www.pandora172.webs.com to see more of my photos

365 Pictures Project

Creativity Portal has devised a worldwide collaborative daily prompt project:

http://www.creativity-portal.com/prompts/365/pictures.html

Artists, photographers, writers, and other creatives have generously shared their personal pictures and thought-provoking prompts to inspire others with unique perspectives and manifested expressions of creativity.

My submissions are being published on:

23 September
11 October
19 November

I hope you like them.

Events of the last few weeks

1 I had a bad fall, put my head through the bath and displaced my pelvis. Minus side - very expensive to replace bath. Plus side - enforced bed rest meant I finally wrote the new unit.

2 Hobbling became the new walking. Employing mind over matter, I convinced myself I COULD still have my skiing lesson. As I lay sobbing with pain in the cold, cold snow, I knew I had made a BIG mistake. No plus side. Minus side - everything.

Two weeks later...... Plus side - by contorting sideways and being VERY inelegant, at last I am able to crawl into fantastically-beautiful new little sports car, which means I can get to work. Minus side - it's equally as difficult to get out of the car. My fervent hope is that I can do better before all the students turn up next week or I'm going to end up on YouTube.

Goodbye to an old friend

Fourteen years ago, I bought my first car, a blue Fiesta named Sybil (after the Pythia, not the Fawlties!). She has been the best of friends, never letting me down. Her engine heart is still beating strongly, but her little body is gradually rusting away. Every time she was due an MOT, Son#1 welded yet another plate of sheet steel on her bottom, so that eventually she was as heavy and as safe as a tank, but important things were going wrong. For two years I've had to search for a suitable replacement, but it has been very hard to find something with as much character. Finally, the day has come when Sybil has gone to her new home, and I have a new set of wheels sitting on the drive.

Although I'm sad at losing Sybil, I shall still be seeing her nearly every day. There was no way I could possibly scrap her, and she's no longer safe to drive so I couldn't find her a new owner, but she has a useful end, going to the Motor Vehicle Department at the college for students to learn how to mend automatic engines.

Thanks for all the happy memories Sybil....

now welcome to ....... Pheonix

The Sands of Time

Every spare minute of the past few weeks have been taken up with my latest project, creating a movie of photos from China. This has been so successful I am considering using the format for all my holiday pictures, but the problem is that where I have always favoured portrait layout to fit better in the albums I use, landscape sits much better on the big screen. So now I am busy cropping and sorting through thousands of images, reading old journals to confirm names and places...... and then there's all the old SLR photos to scan.... in fact, it seems as if I am doing ANYTHING rather than get on and write the new unit for college! Time is running out, I have to get motivated SOON.

If you would like to see a few of the many photos of Yangshuo, please follow this link:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2002746&id=1364274011&l=b7c8e1770f

Silly Words

Talking to Neighbour Next Door, both feeling aggrieved with a certain person....

I said, 'Characteristics of their code of conduct are to criticise, correct and control.'

NND answered, 'yeah..... Constantly...'

which had us screaming with laughter to the extent we almost forgot why we were having the conversation in the first place!

Reality check

After such a great holiday, then grading successfully, then getting motivated to start work on my new teaching unit which is a HUGE learning curve, I was feeling pretty good but today I got a booklet in the post from our local council specially produced for ELDERLY RESIDENTS!!!!! This 'older person' was not amused! Talk about being brought down to earth with a bump.

Blue is Best!

I am a very happy person.... tonight I graded in Blue Belt Choi Li Fut (Five Animal) Kung Fu.

When I started martial arts training, my dream was to get a White Belt in Traditional Kung Fu and I never imagined that I would get to this stage.

It has been a difficult road, overcoming problems of health and age. Sifu has encouraged me every step of the way, making allowances for the first but not the second! I always said Blue would be my last belt but ignoring common sense and going with the flow, I have already started on the Leopard form for my Purple Belt, which I will have to take in front of one of the Founders of ZDL. I'm looking upon it as an experience, whether I actually ever grade or not.

Books and rainy days

Still in holiday mood, I can't find the motivation to tackle any work. It's too wet to garden, so reading has taken over my days. I've been raiding my bookshelves and my top ten books at the moment (no particular order) are:

• The Alexander Trilogy by Mary Renault
• Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu
• Windward Heights by Maryse Conde
• Eat... Love... Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert
• Salmon Fishing in the Yemen by Paul Torday
• The Colour by Rose Tremain
• My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk
• Ancient Evenings by Norman Mailer
• Burmese Days by George Orwell
• Felix in the Underworld by John Mortimer

The joy of being on holiday

Lovely summertime outing to the beach ... I packed

Bikini, sunhat

Shorts, vest, flipflops

Cargoes, t-shirt, cardi, pumps

Thick fleece, jeans, trainers and socks

Wellies, raincoat, umbrella

And a picnic of course....

We left home in pouring rain, our lunch blew away in a gale, we sweltered in afternoon sunshine and fortified ourselves with fish and chips as the temperature plummeted. All in all, a brilliant day out!

Holidays

Two weeks of lying in the sunshine, eating gorgeous fresh vegetables and fruit, drinking crisp, chilled wines. visiting ancient historical sites and doing tai chi in a shady olive grove - heavenly.



See more photos of beautiful Cyprus at
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2030948&id=1364274011&l=c66417d75b



It was wonderful to have a complete rest - I've just taken a 'TRUE AGE' test and the result came back as only 40! Maybe I should book another holiday soon.....

Summertime

The first time ever that the Met office have given out a heat wave warning!

Daughter#1 and I escaped to the beach... we took our books and worked on creating a new unit syllabus, much more fun than sitting in a classroom.

The beach was deserted, the tide low, the groyn threw shadows across the sand and the gulls swooped overhead as we worked, laughed, shared a sandwich, paddled and cherished our sharing moments.

Thoughts linked by modes of Time

It's funny how quickly life gets back to normal, as if nothing momentous has happened. This must be a defence mechanism, otherwise we should surely go mad with harbouring every fear and worry accumulated over the years.

The final term is drawing to an end and the long summer break will soon be here. Time to regain acceptable fitness levels as I have missed many training sessions.... muscles tighten, motivation sinks, ASICS wait in mute reproach... how hard it is these days get back on top form.

I leave at the weekend for a holiday in the Mediterranean sun with my husband (yes, I am of an age when I have one, not a 'partner') and we will celebrate our 35th anniversary - another marker of the passing of time.

Time is a gift ..... our lives the result of what we create with it.

Gratitude

Thanks be, Son#1 is on the way to recovery.

I cannot find enough words to express my thankfulness but am minded of G.K. Chesterton, who maintained that thanks are the highest form of thought and gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.

My son is ill. Nothing could focus my mind more quickly, or make me more aware of the triviality of daily life and its petty problems.

I utter platitudes, find reassurance in nonsense, waver between hope and despair. I promise all things if he recovers.... I beg that pain and suffering be heaped on my own head... I make bargains with the Unknown, Unknowing, Unseeing Power.... I don't know how to pray so I send out desperate words to whatever There Might Be.

My son is ill. Please make him well again.

More daydreams

Recent thoughts of Bangkok brought to mind other memories....

Beach house for sale

I used to live in a little house in Thailand. Life there was very simple for me because, as a foreigner, I was able to enjoy the advantages of the 'banana life' without being affected by the economic and social constraints faced by the local people. My work with the poorer children and their families in the community prevented me from seeing life through a rosy glow and I was very aware that even paradise has its serpents.

But during this time I learned how little I needed to live comfortably and happily - one sheet for the wooden platform bed, one saucepan in the lean-to kitchen, no cups (but plenty of glasses that had been given free with bottles of the local hooch!), one knife, a few bent forks and spoons - but absolutely NO ornaments, pictures, books, flowers, rugs, cushions or any of the other paraphernalia that fills my home and my life in England.

It was extremely liberating to be so unburdened by possessions, to live so simply with such freedom from the trivial decisions that demand so much of my time and attention in a house full of 'things', no matter how beautiful or useful. I now wage a permanent battle against clutter. I have a series of stages of removal - from downstairs to upstairs, from upstairs to attic, from attic to charity shop - that make clearance far less painful and create a serene spaciousness in my home.

Sunshine

Whenever the sun shines, I go to pieces. Nothing gets done, TO DO lists are ignored, work is barely tolerated and I begrudge every minute that I can't be soaking up the rays.

I blame my years away from England's temperate climate for this obsession. To lie on a tropical beach, lulled by the rythym of the waves, totally at one with the sun and the sea and the sand in a meditation that engages every sense, gives true meaning to my worship of the sun.

Closer to home, sun-soaked coves hidden between craggy Devon cliffs, or sheltered pebble hollows sculpted by the seas of the sweeping Sussex coast, or springy beds of meadow grass on the Downs are equally tempting. Or there's always the back garden...

Daydreaming

I went into the garden to practice tai chi, but was lured by the sweet song of a blackbird and a too-ready glass of wine to sit in the sunshine and drift into one of those out-of-time moments that lift you into a different reality… to Bangkok, walking down Charoen Krung, the old centre of silversmiths and gemstone dealers, genteelly shabby, displaying racks of yellowing silver and countless strings of multi-coloured pearls, amber, coral, jade…. ahhhh, the jade! …. quartz of every hue, carnelian, topaz, thrown together with sapphires, rubies and emeralds, their brilliance hidden under an ever-present layer of dust.

... that dust of the city which permeates every pore down to the very fibres of being, so that long after you have returned home the musky sourness of the streets and the sewers can creep up and catch you unawares.

Although the city is not quite my favourite place in the world it’s where I most often return in moments of reverie, to the pavements of Ratanakosin, the heady mix of utter poverty and obscene wealth, things familiar yet so unknown.

A little bit of Heaven created from chaos

Before and after.....

The garden is quite small, south facing, divided into areas each with a distinct character of their own. The patio by the house is Mediterranean, with a herb bed, a potted olive tree, a blueberry bush and a Himalayan Honeysuckle, which makes a dreadful mess just outside the back door but is a favourite because the birds love its berries in the winter. The grassy square, insufficiently grand to be called a lawn, is dotted with daisies, the odd dandelion and wayward violets in the spring. One brick-edged flower bed is a cottage garden, full to bursting with foxgloves, stocks, cornflowers, Japanese anemones, forgetmenots and poppies under a pollarded willow, with a well-clipped daphne whose dense foliage hides a blackbird's nest.

Another bed has a carefully tended cloud tree called George, an arbelia, the only surviving plant from when Son#1 had a brief flirtation with gardening. (Sadly, no girlfriends have lasted as long.) George shelters experiments from garden shows or stately gardens, polite young plants that are given a home, usually temporary, to be admired and cossetted before being assimilated into the rest of the garden.

Leylandi have had much bad press lately, but the six trees crammed across the bottom of the garden are a great asset. They not only create a mini-woodland with primroses, periwinkles, lily-of-the-valley and violets, a lovely shady area with a gurgling fountain and sculptural tree stump, but a family of blue tits have taken up residence in a nesting box, collared doves and wood pigeons have nested in the upper branches, along with blackbirds, thrushes, dunnocks, robins, sparrows, even a little wren. A toad lives by the fountain and a family of mice have taken over the hedgehog house, so it's quite a lively area and a source of great interest to Cat.

A tiny courtyward area that was once a pile of rubble is now a beautiful oriental fantasy, with a rock garden, pebble stream, iron lanterns, a red acer under a 'Golden Showers' climbing rose, a few clumps of spikemoss and miniature bamboo, a variegated myrtle cloud tree and my collection of bonsai. I love this part of the garden most when it is lit by candles under a full moon.

Creativity

A friend dragged me away from work for a session of sketching, the first time for ages that I've taken up my pencils. Before I start to beat myself up about how little art work I do these days, I thought about the ways in which I am creative through the decisions I make ... like ....


Neon finger nails, orange or green? Carpet of humble lobelia under the clematis or the more exotic Thalictrum Aquilegifolium? Cut offs or capris with the hoodie? Mint or coriander in the salad? How short should the fringe go?


More seriously, in debatable order of consequence - Cloze sheet or multiple choice for the next lesson? How to balance the bank account? What new course of study next term, Chinese or CAD? Should I get a new car? What cat minding arrangements to put in place for the next holiday? Has the time come to move house?


Less obviously creative - What time to set the alarm to get up in the morning? Should I play truant and have a day at the beach? Which book should I choose to read? Shall I do the ironing? Learn a new move in tai chi? Daydream?

Over a hundred years ago, James Allen put forward the theory that our thoughts create our reality. If this is so, then life is a series of creations, the result of every decision we take. I choose to create a reality that is original, imaginative, inspired, artistic, original and innovative, whether I take up my pencils or not!

Road to Nowhere

Cliff path at Hartland Point

If you like this photo, you can see more at http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2003253&id=1364274011&l=eea6f4d81d

Friends and Family

(i) My sister who cares enough to refuse to allow me to be less than what I really am.

(ii) Daughter #1 who supports me in everything that I do with love and understanding.

(iii) Sifu who tolerates my mistakes, encourages my successes and recognises how hard I try.

(iv) Little rescued cat who sits at the end of the sofa and licks my toes.

Fear ... and NOT doing it anyway

The hottest day of the holiday weekend, perfect for the local fete. Sifu organised a team of people from kung fu and kick boxing to give a display and I let him and myself down by not taking part. There were many reasons for my decision - I don't like performing where people I know, especially students from college, might see me; I'm not good enough and would let the side down; I'm so much the 'odd one out' I would spoil the line-up; my lack of ability would reflect badly on Sifu. It's easy to make excuses but, being honest, the bottom line is that I was too scared of making an idiot of myself in public, which has surprised me as I thought I had long gone past caring about what other people think of me. This fear is in direct ratio to the value I place on my martial arts training - if I didn't value it so highly, it wouldn't matter so much to me.

Perfect moments

Sunshine is rare... a day to enjoy it even rarer. I slept late then sat in the garden with my tea and 'Weight', Jeanette Winterson's version of the myth of Atlas. Is there a better way to spend an hour or two than relaxing in a secret world you have created yourself, bathed in golden sunlight, with a book that challenges your long-held views and gives the gift of fresh insight?


Well yes, actually - four or five hours lost in such peace. The real world seems a much more relaxed place afterwards and the benefits of time out can linger far out of proportion to the hours invested in being self-indulgent.

Bad night

Four hours sleep is NOT ENOUGH. I know all the tricks - relaxation, visualisation, acceptance, non-acceptance, high pillow, low pillow..... last night nothing worked. As I staggered to work, I needed a change in mindset. I had to believe that the day would be fine. All I could think of was, at that actual moment, I was coping. The NOW was bearable. As the day wore on, Berocca was my first line of defence, followed by Americano with a triple shot (not sensible but it worked) and I lived through every NOW until it was time to come home.

A good moment to start the day

Driving to work this morning, a stag ran out of the forest across the road in front of my car.

Dancing and prancing, he showed no fear at all - he was King of the Road.

Texture

There is a small bed at the bottom of the garden, less than 1 x 2 metres, containing

• waxy lime green flowers above the spear-like dark green leafy fingers of a hellebore
  
• huge flat elephant-ear leaves of bergenia


• misty-pale prickly oleander bush


• tremulous curling leaves and tortured stems of a corylus contorta


• bank of glistening variegated ivy

Perfect!

Visit to the hairdresser

This in itself is a rare occasion as long ago a snipper showed me the correct way to cut my fringe myself, which means I only go to a professional twice a year for a trim. I couldn't get an appointment at my usual salon, so went to the Hair and Beauty department at college. It was a revelation - such a calm, relaxing atmosphere - no bad language, testosterone, smelly bodies, computers, stress, all so diffferent from the masculine world of engineering.

The course director keeps a careful eye on what is going on and I chatted to her about my two inches of regrowth as I would like my bleached ends to blend with my natural hair colouring - the poor woman was embarrassed to tell me... 'but your natural colour is..... (whisper) grey.....!!!!!!' I hardly like to go back, not because I am ashamed of my lack of pigmentation, but because of somehow letting the side down, not quite meeting the high expectations of the lovely ladies of the world of beauty.

A beautician I spoke to recently said the single most important factor for not appearing to age is being 'girlie'. This conjures awful visions of OAP's giggling in puffballs, but that's not what she meant... it's about attitude and sensibilities, which I need to be more aware of as this side of my nature gets supressed by the not-so-elegant safety boots and goggles of my working life.