Fear ... and NOT doing it anyway

The hottest day of the holiday weekend, perfect for the local fete. Sifu organised a team of people from kung fu and kick boxing to give a display and I let him and myself down by not taking part. There were many reasons for my decision - I don't like performing where people I know, especially students from college, might see me; I'm not good enough and would let the side down; I'm so much the 'odd one out' I would spoil the line-up; my lack of ability would reflect badly on Sifu. It's easy to make excuses but, being honest, the bottom line is that I was too scared of making an idiot of myself in public, which has surprised me as I thought I had long gone past caring about what other people think of me. This fear is in direct ratio to the value I place on my martial arts training - if I didn't value it so highly, it wouldn't matter so much to me.